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Friday, December 5, 2008 @ 3:17:00 PM

without much realisation, its already nearing the year end. just a matter of 25 days or so and it marks the start of a new year- 2009. i start looking back, recollecting all the events that took place. good and bad, ones which bothered the hell out of me, or ones which were just like a speck of dust on my feets. the ex boyfriend, the break-ups, the present love and his past, the making ups, the family, parental issues, the school, the attachments, and a few more kazillion things. and i was thinking to myself, "hell, i pulled thru all that?"

the earlier part of this year was still getting over the ex boyfriend. he still had the cheek to look me back up again and pretend as if nothing took place. i loathe people like him. saying sorry and expecting everything to be fine after that and hoping to salvage the already so tormented relationship. i may not have learned my lesson in the past years, but unfortunately for him, things change. i got a little wiser, i realise what was for my own good, and realise that the biggest mistake in ending up this way was even getting to know him. god knows how much of a roller coster ride it has been. then god introduced someone to me. someone who taught me how to let go. to let go of anything or anyone who has hurt me bad enough. and ever since then, changes took place in my life. ive been letting go of a lot of things and a large number of people. nevertheless, it has always made me wondered if ive taken the right step, said the right things and if by doing all of that would do good for me in future. but i guess the only reason to this hesitation is curiousity. for i know myself better, i have my reasons in saying the things i said, or doing the things i did. to let go is to lose the one you love. and maybe it's because i dont always get that that's how life is, (-people come and go,) held me back. but its over now. that chapter in life has closed, and ive moved on. and i know if i keep my head high, look ahead, nothing would be the same as how it was. im pretty much contented with what i have now, and i know things will get better. just like any other human beings who'd go, "what if...", no, i dont regret. i just question.

i found new love in 2008, and for forever, 2008 will always be the most meaningful to me. all because of him- mohamad firdauz bin jeffry. he's taught me a lot- to forget, to get over the past, to ignore all unwated pests, to stay strong and most importantly, to have a lot of patience. because its never easy being with him, i have to admit, really. we love each other all the time, we hurt each other most of the time. arguments, being very common in us. like he said, "our egos on its own is too big for our heads." we break up, we make up. we push, we shout, but at the end of the day, we still kiss and hug. we've put up with the most _____(fill in the blank with gross-iest word you can think of) human-being. along the way, it hit me, and i wondered, "how can you be so ignorant of what you did... yes, i agree its much simpler to turn it around to others and blame them, and act saint or maybe just apologise without realising that you're really wrong. couldnt you just stop and use your brain, for once, that you are too, to be blamed? because all in all you're the one who created this mess. so, please, shoo and clean it up. thank you. im so sick and tired of your old grandfather tales." still, we got over that, we pulled thru together. and like they[the ex(s)] say, that both of us are just pretending to be happy with each other, all i got to say is, its up to you think likewise. how you interpret it, how you judge it, its really up to you. because all we know is that we're both happier than we used to be, stronger than the past. and that, because, everything that has happened has made us realise whats important in our lives and whats not. and most importantly, because we have each other, and thats all that matters.

2008 also marked the beginning of a new journey, the birth of a career, (hopefully) in my life. i took up nursing, and im still on it. enjoying every single moment of it. see, ITE's not that bad. i made a couple of new friends, i left a few. i went for attachments and experienced the almost real world of the working life out there. i met with all kinds of people, young to old, of all races. i see death right before my eyes, i see the helpless look in some people's eyes almost every day. all these took me a step higher in life. it opened my eyes and my heart. i began to appreciate and be contented with all that i have now. i thank god for still granting good health for my loved ones.

relationship with family just keeps getting better. and i have to agree on the fact that Firdauz has been playing a big part to make it happen. parents started to trust me all over again. i got closer to my siblings. mum has faith in Firdauz and I. alhamdulillah, atleast we have her blessings. my aunties adore him, grandma dotes on him, yadayada... well, not only because of that, but my pleasing academic results as well.

what else.. what else... see, there's this problem with me, whenever i start blogging, there'll be a point in time where i start feeling lazy, and my mind will suddenly be blocked and i dont what else to type. HAH! so yeah.

i wanna get ready. i wanna get going. meeting mohd firdauz bin jeffry! i miss you! i miss you! i miss you! b, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!

oh anyway, just a lil something. the elder sister came up to me before she went to bathe and said,



"adik, you want $2?"
"huh? for what?"
"iron for me my shorts. the high-waisted one."
"$2 for what?! no need lah! can just iron what!"
"ah okay, come."
*follows her to the room and...
"na. this shorts, this shirt, and this tank top. iron for me."
-_________-
basket. mentang2 i said no need for the two dollars... and she also said before she left the house,
"if you keep the house clean and mom doesnt nag when she comes back, i'll treat you to some things when i get my pay next week."
another -_________-
ok, bye!

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♥AMALINA
26th September
Someone that you might know, I hope.
:own words:own stage:
:own drama:own script:
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