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Thursday, June 18, 2009 @ 2:04:00 AM

Ok Im so pissed now. Why? Because I just typed a whole long post, and in a second, everything just went blank! Bloody idiot. Make my mood fly away! So here goes another one.

Got home at 11.15pm and stuffed myself with McSpicy with cheese and honeymustard+currysauce. Wala wala syiok ahhh! (: But I managed to finish only ALMOST half of it. I couldn't take in anymore. Then I vomitted out a lil bit. I seriously think I've got a MAJOR eating disorder leh. Still, I'm putting on weight like nobody's business. How ahh like that? Eat only once a day, and only a lil bit, but still putting on weight. Gondolans. -.- And this 'disorder' is not only irritating and worrying me, but my beby as well. Then he'll start nagging&forcing me to have proper meals. Not that I don't want to, but I just don't feel hungry nor do I feel like eating. How now idiot?

And I think I have another disorder as well. A SLEEPING one. It seems to be so torturing to put myself to sleep. No, not that I need lullabies to get me to lala land. But it's just very hard for me to close my eyes and get proper sleep. I'll toss and turn in bed until maybe 5am or 6am, then I'll get to sleep. But not for long. After 2 or 3 hours, I'm all wide awake and super hyped up. And beby will start nagging again. Sampai da hafal lineline nye (; But even if I do get a proper 7 or 8 hours of sleep, I'll feel fucking lethargic and moody throughout the day. Just what is wrong with my body?! Grrr. I really can't go on this way. I need to mend myself fast. There's no way I'm going on this way, when attachments' starting soon. I don't want to be risking my patients.


Today was another spent with love. He came over to my house to wait for me for an hour. (actually, more). Because apparently, I was being held back by the ex boyfriend who called just as I was getting up to get my towel and get into the shower. Well, I see it coming. Assumptions, again. Whats new? And oh, he called me up to a challenge to having a far better and happier life without each other. Oh come on, you know Im up for it. (;
[sidetrack skejap eh]
- Dear Ex Boyfriend. Thanks for accusing me of leaving you for Rezzuan. But no, I DID NOT. He is nowhere a third party in our relationship. I hope you realise your damn mistakes. I had to go thru so much just to be with you. I had to sacrifice my social and private time. Lucky I wasnt dumb enough to sacrifice my family time for you. Else, I'd be so out of place right now. I thank you for giving me shit. Because in all, I became a stronger lady, I become somewhat immune to the bullshit. Since you called me up for this challenge, Im all up for it, baby. I'll let you see. I never needed you to prove anything to me. I was the one who asked for the break up, so I don't see a reason to why I should see how you're progressing. I just wanna say though, your next girlfriend is so damn lucky, I am not like your ex girlfriend. No worries, I wont put her thru shit, neither would I give you shit. I wont be lingering around you, I wont be pestering you, I wont be calling, crying and begging you to stay. I WONT. Because I know how it feels like. Just an advice, PLEASE, be nice to the next. PLEASE, DO NOT CHEAT ON HER AND HURT HER LIKE YOU DID TO ME, PLEASE LET HER HAVE TIME WITH HER FRIENDS and PLEASE, RESPECT HER. RESPECT HER FAMILY AFFAIRS TOO. Do not be OVERLY-POSSESSIVE. I know you might think Im such a bitch now, but hell, what do I care? You and your assumptions. Let me make this clear once again. REZZUAN IS NEVER THE CAUSE OF OUR BREAK UP. SO DONT YOU DARE SPEAK OF IT AGAIN.
Thank you. -
[end of sidetrack]
Oh so, after that, I got ready. Thanks for being patient beby. And first, we made our way to CGH, to visit nenek. Reached at 7pm and went off at 8.20pm. Alhamdulillah, all's fine now. She might be discharged in a day or two. But she has to come back next week or in two week's time to get her scope done. God, please make her better. In any case, Im not prepared to lose anyone now. Amin. I could see she appreciate it so much that beby comes along everyday. Forever backing him up when I say something bad. Always happens. Grrr. Tahu lah dia sape yang backing dia kalau I cakap bendebende tak baik.. Eh beby? Im loving how things are going for now. We made a move to meet Muhsan and friends at Tampines. Was a little suprised to see Sharifah there. Heh! Slacked for awhile before we went off to meet his cousin, Fir, over at another area. Again, sat and talked for awhile before he sent me home! Insisted that I ate something, we walked to Hougang Mall Mac, then went over to Cheers to get myself a new number. (: He walked me home and went off to meet his friends. Thanks for the day love. I know it was only a few hours spent. But it's more than enough to please me. Loves.

I promised him we'll be going to the movies tomorrow since today's plan was somehow corrupted. So the movies it shall be, earlier part of tomorrow. Then it'll be slacking for a bit before visiting nenek again. Now Im waiting for him to get back home and give me a call cause Im so bored already. Dying! Dying! Then will get to sleep after that, and when I wake up, I'll have to get ready as soon as possible. I dont want to be spoiling his hopes to watch movie tomorrow. Im so looking forward to spending every day with you.


Anyway, Love. I thank you for spending time with me day to day no matter how planless we can get, or how tired you are. I thank you for always having to put up with me being cranky and the never ending mood swings. I thank you for showering me with care, concern and love. Im not regretting giving this second chance to you beby. Because I believe you deserve it more than he does. Thank you for not taking advantage of it. You make every day a better day.
Terima kasih, cinta.

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♥AMALINA
26th September
Someone that you might know, I hope.
:own words:own stage:
:own drama:own script:
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